Dating Correspondence Advice
When sending a letter to your potential date, there are some very important things to remember.
Do’s
Send her the best photo of yourself that you can find. This should not be a photo in which you are obscured by sunglasses, nor of you and your friends drinking, nor of you with another girl. This initial picture should be a good sized, flattering one which is in focus, and that you are easily visible. If you don’t have a good one, consider having a professional one taken.
As always, honesty is the best policy, and lies are always discovered. Most of these women are highly educated and are looking for sincere, honest men who will treat them with love and respect. Please don’t make the mistake of thinking that they are ignorant or that you can treat them badly, after all, that is why they do not want to marry many of the men from their own country. Treat her like a princess, and she will become your princess.
When listing your hobbies and interests, consider presenting a broad spectrum and not just sports, cars, and other stereotypically male pursuits. However, if your life is all about sports, then be honest enough to admit it up front. There are many women who may share your interests, so dishonesty about them could backfire and your letters may end up being overlooked by a woman who would be a perfect match. It is always better to be honest in the beginning rather than to chance heartbreak later on.
To increase the chances of success, you should consider writing to as many women as possible. Keep in mind that you are probably competing for the attention of the same women as hundreds of other men; the more attractive a woman is, the more letters she will receive. While you should write to more than one woman, you should personalize each letter and make each woman feel as if she is the focus of your search for love.
Try to keep the initial letter fast-paced. You certainly don’t want to be discussing things like marriage and what your children might look like in your first letter! You may want to tell her a little about yourself, where you were raised, and what schools you have attended. Write a little about your interests, hobbies, likes and dislikes. Basically, write just enough to cover the things that you would normally talk about on a first date.
Make sure that you ask her plenty of questions about herself in your first letter. People like to know that others are interested in them and their activities. By asking questions you are beginning a dialogue and increasing the chances that she will respond to your questions with a reply letter of her own. Asking questions also creates an impression that you are interested in her as a person and not merely a participant in a business transaction. Ensure that you keep your letter upbeat and interesting; tell her about yourself, where you live, what you like to do for fun, your goals and your ambitions, and what you are looking for in a potential partner.
You may find it useful to do some research on her country and its history. Not only will this impress her, but it may save you from committing a faux-pas later on. Always be aware that both of you have been raised in different cultures, and may have vastly different opinions and values; therefore, it is in your best interest to know as much about her culture as possible.
Don’ts
Don’t send pictures of your houses, cars or boats on the first stages of your correspondence— this has the potential to look as if you are trying to buy a woman, and not to attract a life-partner. Never post inaccurate, old, or retouched photographs. If you meet in person, the deception will certainly be exposed and may end a relationship before it has the chance to begin.
Don’t ask a woman about her sexual priorities or fantasies in the first letter. This may be a topic which emerges at a later point, but it’s not common practice in Russia to open up your heart and share your desires and thoughts with a stranger.
Avoid lengthy stories about past relationships, especially romantic ones. A lady may not be interested in reading about your lost loves. A woman wants to feel that she is the primary focus of your attention. Similarly, avoid staring at, or commenting on, other women when with a date.
Don’t delay your visit to see her personally. The average time between the beginning of e-mail correspondence and the visit to see a lady is about 6 months. Remember that she has joined a dating service, not a pen pal club. A single visit is worth hundreds of letters.
Don’t invite a woman to visit you in your first letter. She will not be ready to leave her home for the unknown. It is not considered to be decent for a woman to go to a man’s residence before knowing him properly.
Do not write about money matters nor how much you spend for using the service; this could create the impression that the lady is a financial burden for you.
It is very important not to send any money! Remember, it is a matter of pride for any honest Russian or Ukrainian woman not to ask you for money. No matter how badly off she may be financially, if she is truly interested in you she will not ask for monetary help.
